Deal With a Spouse's Wandering Eye

Written by Pam MS, NCSP | Fact checked by Psychology Dictionary staff 

The male species is notorious for giving a woman the once over. Unfortunately, they often commit the behavior while in the company of their wives. They might actually adore and admire their wife. But, for some innate reason, they cannot help themselves when another female comes into view. On the whole, wives find this behavior disrespectful and distasteful. However, instead of feeling degraded, there are a few techniques that women might try.

Accept It

Women are typically more observant and hone in on environmental cues before men, which includes noticing an attractive female. Men might look at another woman for the way she dresses, wears her hair or applies her makeup. These characteristics do not necessarily mean that he finds her attractive or that his mind is racing with fantasies. It is merely human nature.

Stay Interesting

While husbands may look at beautiful women, they are not usually attracted by appearance alone. Keep your mate attracted to you by having your own interests and engaging in your own activities. Take care of yourself. At the same time, be attentive and supportive of his needs. Men stay with women who make them feel good about themselves. Make an effort to be that wife.

Avoid Punishing Him

If his glancing makes you irritable or someone who needs to make a scene, the tactic might work for a short while. However, human nature dictates that a person is more likely to desire being around someone who offers them comfort and pleasure than with someone who exudes negativity. Resist the urge to make him feel embarrassed or uncomfortable to the degree that he entertains the thought of being with another woman.

Reverse Psychology

If despite sharing your feelings, he continues acting disrespectfully, mirror what he might be thinking. Consider noticing the woman too and verbally exaggerate the moment. Comment on the attributes that a man would commonly notice. As most men usually attempt to look inconspicuously, mimicking might just get the message across. However, do not overreact to the point of punishing him. Be amusing.

Let's Make A Deal

Choose a time when not in public and calmly explain how his ogling makes you feel. Let him assure you of his love and undying devotion. Unless he has given you a reason to think otherwise, believe what he says. However, request that he not look while the two of you are out together. Or perhaps when the two of you go out, make a deal to people watch together. Share the moment and make it lighthearted.

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