Get Closure From a Relationship

When any type of relationship ends, the individuals involved typically experience a wide range of emotions that commonly include anger, emptiness, heartbreak and regret. Most people go through a grieving process that eventually leads to healing. Many believe that if they can achieve some sense of closure, they can more easily get over the trauma and get on with their life. There are a number of ways to tie up lose ends and bring a relationship to a close.

Rethink the Situation

Try to find positive reasons for the relationship ending. Some people believe that everything happens for a reason, and that when one door closes another opens. Try to look at this point in your life as a new beginning. Learn from the experience and redirect your emotions in a positive light. There will be new friends and new romances in the future.

Find Gratitude

Regardless of whether the relationship was platonic or romantic in nature, when the association ends, people often feel hurt and resentful. Resist the urge to hold negative feelings concerning the other person. Remember the happy times that you shared and be thankful for those moments of joy. Concentrate on the positive benefits of being in the relationship and know that future associations will also bring happiness.

Give Healing Time

Do not try to bury negative emotions and thoughts. Allow yourself to grieve by feeling and expressing the emotions. Talk to someone or write your thoughts in a journal. In time, the pain subsides. The time required to heal varies from one person to the next and also depends on the type and duration of the relationship. Let the healing come naturally however long it takes.

Practice Forgiveness

It does not matter why the relationship fell apart, the faults or actions of the other person. By holding onto resentment and bitterness, the only person you are hurting is yourself. Forgive the person for whatever they did or did not do. Forgive yourself for any mistakes that you feel you might have committed. In this way you give yourself the freedom not to be entangled by the past. Consider what you learned from the experience and promise yourself to be wiser in the future.

Have A Ceremony

The event might include burning or donating the items that once belonged to the other individual. They might also include gifts or mementos from your time spent together. By creating a formal good-bye ceremony, you mentally acknowledge the end of the relationship while giving yourself permission to move forward.

Compose A Letter

Once you feel that you have grieved over the situation long enough, you might consider writing a letter to the other person. Express your feelings and thoughts in detail. Perhaps there are things that you feel were left unsaid. After finishing the letter, burn or shred the document. The act symbolizes letting go of the negativity and provides emotional closure.

Cite this page: N., Pam M.S., "Get Closure From a Relationship," in PsychologyDictionary.org, January 25, 2016, https://psychologydictionary.org/article/get-closure-from-a-relationship/ (accessed November 18, 2019).
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