Whether your relationship was fabulous or fraught with issues, it can be heartbreaking watching your ex move on, especially when you're not there yet yourself. If you find yourself in this position, there is unfortunately no magic pill to make you feel better immediately. That said, staying positive rather than negative will help you to move on faster, and it will also make it more likely that you will create a positive relationship environment when you finally do move on. Here is a look at some of the ways that you can turn positive into negative:
Wallowing is well and good, for a very limited time. Cry your tears, bash him with your girlfriends, burn your mementos if you want, but give yourself a wallow deadline and then rededicate your attention to the positive. Find things that you are passionate about and spend time doing them. Learn a new hobby, dedicate yourself to a charity or kick items off your bucket list. Any of these options will increase your daily joy in life and help your ex become a distant memory.
Ask Yourself About Your Part
Many women find themselves dating the same kind of man over and over until they get past an internal issue. Take your time being single to try and deduce the patterns that you have in relationships, or ask an honest and direct friend who has your best interests. What type of guy do you date, and what change in attitude or behavior would change the kind of guy you might like? Are you too permissive of bad behavior and find "fixer-uppers" to date? Do you find guys who are emotionally unavailable? Answer a few of these questions so that you can fend off your ex, the sequel.
Ask What you have to Offer
The next question to make sure you understand is what you bring to a relationship. Compassion, a sense of humor, intelligence, a sense of adventure, and a good attitude are just some of the things that can enhance a real relationship. Don't simply look for someone else to get over your ex, though. Instead, identify the best parts of yourself and spend time doing solo and friends-only activities that highlight what fun this side of yourself is. This will help you recalibrate the standards you should have in a relationship, and help you to develop the self-love needed to prevent future men from taking advantage of you. If you're not looking to date, you will likely find a lot of the pressure is off, and it can become a great time for growth and reinvestment in your own value. Once these things become an important part of your requirements, dating will likely become easier, and your ex will be on his or her way to being a distant memory.