How to Improve Your Intimacy With Your Husband

Love is complicated. Attraction may be simple, but it is only one facet in the complicated relationship that marriage can be. The longer you are with someone, the more things they know and understand about you. This is a double-edged sword in that it takes away the mystery that may have once created a relationship between you and your husband, but it also provides much deeper opportunities for intimacy. Here are some ways to work with your relationship and deepen your love for one another:

Listen
Whether your husband is chatty, stoic, or somewhere in between, you need to understand him. The best way to do that is to listen both to what he's saying as well as the things he might be afraid to say. Try not to get insulted or hurt when he tries to communicate something painful, but listen and try to provide solutions. The more that he can feel heard, the better your relationship will become for both of you.

Try the Things He Loves
Another way to increase the intimacy between you and your husband is if you're a good sport in doing the kind of things that he loves best. This may be watching and cheering for his favorite sports teams, camping, hiking, or attending Comicon, depending on who he is. You don't have to love it, but you can love supporting and being with him when he's doing the things that most excite him. This will often turn out to be a surprising amount of fun, and may have an added bonus. If you're lucky, he may realize that doing things together that you love is just as fun, and you both may end up better sports. You may enjoy it so much that you both might decide to try new adventures together that are completely out of your comfort zone.

Find Ways to Show You Love Him
If you know your husband well, you might know the best way to tell him how much you love him. However, you might find that switching it up will bring some surprising increases in your intimacy levels. Cook him a special meal, leave notes on his mirror, detail his car if he's out of town for a weekend, or buy him tickets to a favorite event. If you're looking for words, consider writing him a long love letter about everything he means to you, or your favorite things about your relationship together so far. If he is stressed and you share chores, consider taking care of his share of the work while he gets over some other things. Do kind things for his friends and family to make it easier for him to have both you and them in his life.

Cite this page: N., Pam M.S., "How to Improve Your Intimacy With Your Husband," in PsychologyDictionary.org, February 9, 2016, https://psychologydictionary.org/article/how-to-improve-your-intimacy-with-your-husband/ (accessed September 22, 2019).
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