Most people prefer being liked and accepted. Establishing partnerships and relationships are necessary for a fruitful life. However, some become obsessed with the opinions of others to the extent of living a degrading and unhappy existence. In order to live a fulfilling and satisfying life, you must remain true to yourself. You do matter.
Deep in Thought
Any time you start growing overly concerned about what others might be thinking, evaluate your current circumstances. Identify the people that are triggering the concern. Consider why they invade your thoughts and what importance they play in your situation. Determine whether their opinion really matters. Make yourself more aware of these concerns to better understand the unnecessary impact that these people. Then, redirect your focus.
Take the time to ponder why the opinions are so important. Consider what benefits you gained by being a people-pleaser in the past. While there are advantages to staying in the good graces of certain people, has your self-esteem suffered? You may discover that continually tolerating the poor attitudes and bad behaviors of others has not always reaped rewards. Start making conscious choices in different situations that ensure your success without sacrifice.
Wallowing in worry is only a sign that you feel out of control. Realize that you have no control of what people think. People base their opinions on a wide array of variables of which you also often have no control. Concentrate on being the person that you desire to be. In work or play, perform to the best of your ability. You will soon attract like-minded people into your circle of friends. People who take the time to really get to know you will recognize and appreciate you for who you are. Confront anyone who does not treat you with the dignity and respect that you deserve.
Focus on the Positive
Other people are aware when you are trying too hard to gain acceptance. You may then appear needy and insecure. This tactic works against your desire to create healthy relationships. Keep your focus on the things that offer joy and self-satisfaction. Be yourself and act in the manner that makes you comfortable. Associate with others who share your ethics, morals and interests. You are then more likely to relax and enjoy the company of these individuals.
Accept and Love Yourself
Feeling the need to be a people-pleaser actually means that you do not deem yourself worthy. Your desires and needs play second fiddle to those of others. Change this perspective. Begin every day telling yourself that you are just as important as any other human being. Create self-appreciating statements and repeat them to yourself. You might include your natural talents, experience or advanced training in specific areas. Let these affirmations boost your self-esteem. Soon, you will begin living a life that represents your positive thoughts.