How to Figure Out If Someone Truly Loves You

Love is something that everyone craves. Studies have shown that babies who are not given love will shut down and lose their abilities to function properly. But this is not just something that babies need. Instead, teens and adults need love as well. Unfortunately, they are more discriminating than babies, and the damage of a complex life makes it more difficult for many to openly show love without self consciousness. So how do you tell if someone loves you? With some, they continue to show their love and let people know how they feel without fear. Others, out of fear of being hurt, will be quieter about it. Here are some signs that someone truly loves you:

They Want to be With You
Someone who loves you wants to find ways to be with you. They will make themselves open to you, whether it's to hang out and watch cat videos. If you want someone to do something with, this is your person. They can't spend every minute with you, because everyone has multiple responsibilities like work, family, and other friends. But if you need them, they make time.

They Consider Your Needs
Someone who loves you will realize that your needs are important, and not just their own. This can be seen in small ways, like taking care of you when you are sick, even though they are risking getting sick themselves. Also, letting you choose the restaurant, and eat food they don't care for because of how happy it makes you. This is not the same as being a doormat and always letting you have your way. This is a conscious choice of realizing that your needs and his or hers don't always match, and giving you your way without you having to ask. Kindness is a great example of considering your needs. It doesn't need to be big, just consistent.

They Love Themselves
Someone who cannot love themselves cannot truly love another. They are too busy filling the hole that their need for love has created. People who cannot love themselves love others selfishly. They see others as opportunities to get things they need, instead of as people to do kind things for. Loving someone like this is heartbreak waiting to happen, because for them, love is a tool to control others. Someone who loves themself can be kind even when you are angry, can forgive others and themself, can be faithful and truthful, and does not seek to create drama where none exists. Someone who loves himself or herself is also someone who will be honest when they love you. They have high standards, and if they love you, it's because they mean it, and because you are good enough to deserve that love.

Cite this page: N., Pam M.S., "How to Figure Out If Someone Truly Loves You," in PsychologyDictionary.org, January 25, 2016, https://psychologydictionary.org/article/how-to-figure-out-if-someone-truly-loves-you/ (accessed August 17, 2019).
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