How to Overcome Jealousy in Relationships

All relationships have their challenges. However, jealousy is one of the things that can most complicate a relationship. If you are jealous of your spouse or significant other, then your reality can become easily distorted as to what they are doing wrong. If you are susceptible to this, here are some tips to help you overcome this problem:

Ask Questions of Yourself First
Before you give your mate the third degree, consider asking a few key questions to yourself. If they are headed out, it is normal to ask where, and when they might be home. However, you don't need every detail in addition to that. So, before you ask follow-ups, ask yourself what the purpose of knowing the answer is. If the answer is entrapment or because you only want them to go to certain places or with certain people, then you are best avoiding additional interrogation. The same limits to questions should be placed on yourself when they return.

Work on Self-Appreciation
Many of the people who are too jealous to trust their partners are also unwilling to believe that they have enough going for them to be worth faithfulness. This may be due to a problem with upbringing, or it may be due to mental illness or other issues. If this sounds like you, consider either a support group or some counseling to begin working on trust. However, you need to start within, because your issues with others will never get better until you believe that you are worth fidelity.

Practice Trust
One of the most damaging parts of a relationship is a lack of trust. If you don't believe what someone is telling you, then you need to figure out whether this is due to a lack of trust in them, or a lack of trust in general. If this is a recurring theme in your relationships, the answer should be blindingly clear. However, if this is something that is new to you, and is specific to one person, then you need to consider whether your trust in them is warranted or not. In some cases, jealousy is due to actual infidelity. Your case is much weaker if you feel this way about everyone you've ever been with.

Overcoming Jealousy after a Cheating Event
In some cases, jealousy may show up because someone was unfaithful in their marriage. Even after the relationship ends, it is hard to trust someone again who has ruined your faith in them. If you have decided to try, however, then it must be wholehearted trying, and not punishing them for past sins with everything you do. If this is hard for you, make it an exercise of maintaining your personal integrity, which you deserve, and not about what he deserves.

Cite this page: N., Pam M.S., "How to Overcome Jealousy in Relationships," in PsychologyDictionary.org, February 9, 2016, https://psychologydictionary.org/article/how-to-overcome-jealousy-in-relationships/ (accessed December 8, 2019).
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