After living with someone for an extended period of time, a sense of familiarity commonly creeps into relationships. Couples often get to a point where they can finish each others sentences, know what their thoughts or reactions will be in certain situations. While some couples relish the thought of maturing to this level, others begin feeling bored and unhappy. Consider adopting a few techniques that bring the spark back into the union.
Demonstrate Common Courtesy
You may show consideration and kindness to people while in public, but ask yourself how often you show your spouse the same courtesy. If you have gotten out of the habit, make an effort to show your partner that you appreciate them at least once a day. Reminisce of how you treated each other when the relationship was new. Be polite. Say “please” or “thank-you.” Praise your significant other when they do something to make your life easier or more pleasant. Let the little things slide and relax.
Whether at home, attending a social event or simply out shopping together, resist the urge to take your partner for granted and show some respect. Stop belittling or degrading each other. Listen intently when they speak. Practice putting value on the other individual's needs or thoughts. Respect your partner's privacy or space.
Revisit Newlywed Bliss
Invite your spouse to do something that the two of you enjoyed as a new couple. Bake or cook something together. Spend an evening listening to favorite songs. Send them an unexpected card or gift. Sneak a love note in their pocket before they go out the door. Leave a loving or suggestive message on their voice mail. While remembering those early days with fondness, you will also reconnect emotionally.
Have Meaningful Conversations
When first dating, many couples spend hours sharing their thoughts and goals. Conversations might also have included your opinions on current events or deep spiritual reflections. After years of being together, daily talks may consist of nothing more than what groceries are needed, or the vehicle needs serviced. While alone together one evening, venture back to one of those early topics. Discuss how experiences and time may have changed your perspectives. Talk about your fears or concerns. Be honest and open with each other.
Make Regular Together Time
Make a point of engaging in an activity together. Maybe you both might go for a walk or a morning jog. Perhaps participate in a community project together. Do something fun and zany like signing up for a mud run or another local contest. Participating in an activity together helps rekindle the closeness and excitement that you both felt when dating. However, feel free to get some “me time” in order to alleviate daily stress, feel refreshed and grow as an individual.