How to ask a Guy to be your Boyfriend

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So you've found someone who is boyfriend material, and you want to make it official. Gone are the days when it was proper to wait for the man to ask, as well as the days when you couldn't openly ask a guy to be your boyfriend if you're male as well. Nowadays, it has more to do with which of you is bravest. If you want to take the initiative and be the one to ask him, here are a few things to do to prepare:

Get to Know Him
Many of you have already done this step. For those of you who haven't, however, your chance of a great relationship will go up if you first get to know him a bit and then ask him to be your boyfriend. You will better understand if he's as great everyday as he is from afar. Hang out as friends, date, chat on the phone, text, play online games together, just do something with him to get a better sense that he is as great as you think of him. Once you've done this (or if you already have), if you still feel like he is boyfriend material, then the next step is to ask him.

The Big Ask
There are many different ways to ask someone to go out with you. If you are someone who is dramatic, and he is as well, consider the big dramatic ask. Plan a trip, start a flash mob, hang a sign somewhere public or do something similar to catch his attention and make him feel like you want the world to know how crazy you are about him. If you are dramatic and he is shy, however, this strategy is likely to backfire on you, and you may not get the answer you want right away because you have embarrassed him. That's also a sign that you don't know him that well, which to some will be a sign that your relationship would be a disaster. Saying yes to a relationship is enough to take many guys out of their comfort zone. Don't push him further if you don't need to.

The Quiet Ask
For many people, the quiet ask is the way to go. There is no audience if rejection happens, and it creates an opportunity for a quiet, romantic, intimate start to your new life together. Quiet doesn't mean boring, you can do something special. It just means that special is between the two of you only. A hike in the woods, a road trip, or a trip to a place that is special to one of you are some of the ways you can make it personal, intimate, and romantic. This will give your new romance a head start.

Cite this page: N., Sam M.S., "How to ask a Guy to be your Boyfriend," in, January 25, 2016, (accessed August 9, 2022).