How to Stop Feeling Insecure

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Many people experience insecurity at some time during their life. We may not be appreciated for our talents, our achievements, personality or values. Feeling insecure often happens because we make the mistake of viewing ourselves from the perspective of others. People judge us and others based on appearance, professional title, education level or by the size of a bank account and material possessions. Battling insecurity is not easy. There are many reasons why the negative thoughts and emotions emerge. Learn to overcome the negativity and build self-esteem.

Stop the Comparisons

Insecurity may take control when viewing yourself in the light of someone who seems to have it all. They are good-looking, popular, successful and fearless. You probably never stop to consider that this person may have had cosmetic procedures, is unethical in business, is despised by associates and squeals in fear at the sight of a spider. Regardless of the persona one may reflect, they are just as human, frail and imperfect as anyone else.

Evaluate Yourself

Consider starting a self-esteem journal. Begin writing by listing your best qualities. If you are having a difficult time coming up with personal traits, list humility as number one. Think about the goals you attained or the personal achievements that you have accomplished. Consider the qualities that enabled you to reach the finish line or win the prize. Remember the times that someone paid you a compliment or relied on you to accomplish a task. What was said? What do they see in you? Add these traits. Ask family members or friends to give you their honest opinion. Keep adding to the journal. When feeling down or defeated, take the time to review everything written.

Protect Yourself

Quit punishing yourself by trying to be accepted by people in the so-called popular crowd. Odds are they do not give you a second thought, and you should not hold what they say or do in high esteem. If there is someone among co-workers, family members or your social circle who insists on boosting their own ego by degrading you or others, do what is takes to avoid them. Busy yourself with work, not office gossip. Decline invitations where the debasing individuals might also appear.

Choose Your Inner Circle

Maintain relationships with people who have your back and understand the concept behind give and take. Choose to associate with people who willingly accept and love you as a worthwhile person despite all of your faults, quirks and capabilities. Socialize with people with whom you feel comfortable, safe and secure.

Continue Growing

Read the book that you always wanted to read. Take a class, pick up a hobby or learn a new skill. Allow yourself to experience new things and add to your list of accomplishments. Participate in activities that make you happy and quit worrying about what others think.


Cite this page: N., Sam M.S., "How to Stop Feeling Insecure," in, February 21, 2016, (accessed August 9, 2022).