Most of the time, there's nothing wrong with thinking about someone you like. It can give you a nice, warm feeling. There are times, though, when thinking about someone you like isn't a good idea. For instance, perhaps the person isn't available because he or she is married to someone else or because the two of you have just had a bad breakup. Then it's probably smarter not to think too much about the other person, but how can you stop? Try these ideas.
Meet New People
Rather than sitting at home obsessing about the person you can't have, go out and meet new people who are available. If you want a relationship, try signing up for an Internet dating service or give speed-dating a try. Many churches also offer single's social groups. Other ways to meet new people include joining local clubs and groups or taking classes at your local community college.
Spend Time Doing Things You Enjoy
Maybe you're not ready for a new relationship in your life. If that's the case, it's certainly possible to be both single and happy. Make a list of 10 to 20 activities you enjoy such as "reading a good book" or "doing yoga." Schedule time during your day to do at least three of the items on your list. You'll feel happier doing things you like to do, and you're far less likely to ruminate on the person you've lost if you're engaged in doing something you enjoy.
Write an Unsent Letter
Sometimes it can be hard to stop thinking about someone, especially if the relationship ended on bad terms. There may be a lot of things you wish you had said to the person before you parted. If this is true for you, try writing the person a letter. Let all your feelings pour out onto the paper. Don't worry, because you're not actually going to send this letter. Once you've said everything you need to say, destroy the letter. Shred it, or rip it up into tiny pieces and throw it away. Some people find comfort in burning unsent letters. Whatever you do, let the destruction of the letter mark the end of the relationship.
It's painful to care for someone who doesn't or can't return your feelings. Rather than continue to focus on that person, it's healthier to turn your thoughts in another direction. Find someone else, do things that give you pleasure or get closure on the difficult relationship by writing an unsent letter.
